Lately my head has been tying around itself over and over, and I don't know what's happening. I feel like I'mcaught in an invisible whirlwind that only I can see. I am slowly losing my sanity. This is the first time that I've really, really seriously considered getting help. Things are really getting out of control.

Even when I have the best, most insane day ever, with lots of laughing and fun and extravagant love, I will come home,m throw myself on my bed and cry myself to sleep. No matter how much fun I have or how much i'm convinced I love someone I can't accept it when I'm alone. Suddenly everyone's tiny faults are screaming and standing out to me like huge gaping holes in their personality that make it absolutely impossible for me to associate with them. It's just ridiculous. I simply can't go on living this way.