----for my eyes only----

---for me alone----

I do love him I do and he loves me too.

He likes to talk dirty and he isn't afraid to show just how much he likes me. He'll often tease me or be annoying but he loves to pamper me too and he's always sweet, whenever I'm just sitting around or watching TV or trying to sleep he'll start kissing my back or sometimes whispering how pretty I am and I soar and smile and giggle stupidly and think that this can't be for real, and I can't possibly be this lucky, but I am.

For god's sakes, he's hot and he's sizable and he's just my type and he's got soft nice hair, and he's hilarious, he's in Comedy Sportz, he's the pep commissioner! He's section leader for sax, he got an A in Pappadakis AND Crowther for BOTH semesters, has a GPA of 4.1, or was it 2? How could I deserve him?

We have different tastes in a lot of stuff but it's oK.

I was thrilled the other day because I was wearing a thong and bending forward on the bed and he'd just logged on to play CS. He hardly ever plays when i'm around anymore. Hmmm...then I took off everything except my underwear and when I turned around to check on him, his mouth was wide open and eyes were popping out. It was too funny. I knew I had a pretty big effect on him but I didn't know it went this far. Next thing I know, he's on top of me. I thrill him and it gives me no greater pleasure to know that he's mine.

Yet the feeling must be mutual.

Yesterday was a great day. He picked me up and we went grocery shopping, and then we climbed his treehouse and made out in it. Unfortunately, there were spiders. So then he went ahead and climbed the tree and he must have been like 20 feet up and shaking the branches and throwing sticks at me, I started yelling at him to please come down, and Bryan CHell called at him, "Mind the lady, Greg!" and he came down. We fucked around for a long time in his room.

Also we went to get his hair cut, and the lady who usually cuts his hair, Lynn, bent down and asked about his mom, then said, "So, you like asian girls, huuuh? She's cute! Why is that?" and the guy was teasing him too. The hair cut turned out decent, if you must know. I loved his hair though.

I seriously need to go on the pill. I'm still a virgin but there are other things you can do besides fuck that aren't very safe.

Then we went to Golfland where we had a lot of fun, and we played DDR and I seriously fucked up because I didn't know this was DDR EXTREME and it has some weird holdy thing you have to do. I lost in golf of course. It was still fun though. I started putting even better than him near the end. Then we went to this pizza place run by asians that had these HUGE slices of pizza and we ate that behind a Mipitas Police truck. We'd taken the Mustang.

We went back to my house after that, and watched TV (Blue's brothers, MTV's most controversial) and we cuddled, and just talked for the longest time. We also walked to this little Asian fest a couple blocks down where they were muddling about some lady who got shot by a cop for brandishing a "10 inch Asian vegetable peeler." I live in such a great area. Even the cops are morons.

Then we fucked around more, freaked out because it "slipped," we showered together (Whooooooooo.......) and he made me feel like my ickiness is beautiful. Got eaten out again, it sucks. Two faked orgasms later, we lay around giving each other our declarations of love, and he left me. Still freaking out about him getting caught and have decided to stay far away from his parents for a good two months.

I love him and he loves me (although we're too proud to admit it, saying those three little words is such a big thing. I never knew before now how momentous these tiny little words could be, how much emotion and feeling and your whole world could be packed into such a little tiny thing. It'd be like giving your soul to that person all gift-wrapped and tied with a beautiful bow)

I wish this could last forever.