After Kathy left I was kind of "ooo. Kathy left." but after 5 minutes I suddenly realized "what happens if she falls down a black hole or dies in a car crash or gets stabbed while we are apart? I will never see her again and I don't even know if I will be invited to the funeral." and then I felt really shitty.

I hope she had a good time. When she talked to Gary she said it was OK but I hope it was better than ok.

He sounds nice.

Norissa talks shit.

I'm having troubel recruiting people. Everyone's just 'Oh, that crazy Stephanie. She's never gonna pull that shit off." i hate everyone.

Going back to school was torture because at first I was "Oh gee! School!" Not really. I was not looking forward to it. But really, I wasn't lookin forward to the work. I totally forgot about that whole being a total loner part. So at lunch the past couple days I just sort of sat in front of people so I at least didn't look like too much of a loser, and didn't talk to them at all hardly. I just ate my chicken/chimichanga. I dunno. I was so used to over the break having these two wonderful people with me all the time and never having to worry about feeling lonely or miserable. And then it all changed.

Last night, I called Greg and he said that he'd come to my house but i wasn't home. I said I was sorry and he said "yeah, I'm kinda busy. Goodnight." and I said, "Goodnight." and as soon as I hung up I just felt so depressed and by myself I just started crying like a stupid idiot until I fell asleep. I was just so depressed that I would be a freaking loner until....February is it? march? I don't know.

my dad's like "Oh! WE gotta go to NYC soon" and I want to, I do, and I'll bet it's amazing, it's great but all of a sudden it's just I can't imagine anything better than to just sit around with Kathy or Greg and I think it's better than sitting in a cafe in paris or shopping in Milan, or seeing a Broadway show in NY. I just feel so happy and fulfilled just sitting there.

On top of that I really wanted to try out for the play, but I just found out that I'm about to get a whole lot more lonely because Greg's gonig to be working at Long's until...late, late every day.

phooey