I am quite depressed.

Today Greg admitted to me that he kissed Carrie Wong twice in a skit for English. At first I was very upset. He told me later that it was on the cheek but still, I was ehhhhh, you know? I talked to some other people about it and they decided that it was right to be a little angry, even if it was just a skit. Who says you have to make out with people for an A? Then for all of break which is really supposed to be our time, he ignored me and talked to Awwab. This has happened all week long. After school I tried to say hi but he was walking with Oanh and kept looking at me like he couldn't decide whether he wanted me to go away or come along. He did not touch me. Him and Oanh walked very fast ahead of me and I felt very awkward because they kept looking at me weird or something. I felt really like 3rd wheel, which is pretty fucked up because I'm with him. At last I just stopped and they didn't care or stop to say goodbye, they just walked away. This isn't the first time this happened. He did it before.

THen the other day, he was asking me "Guess who I think is an A+ girl?" I played dumb and said "Isabel To?" "F!" "Lorri Ma?" "F!" "Isabel Nguyen?" "F!" "ms. Nava?" " D-!" "awww." "No, F!" "haha Misty?" "F!" when I got to Oanh Nguyen he said "ummm C-!" I made a very big deal about it and would not talk to him. Maybe it seems like I'm making a big issue out of this and am very insecure but I am, it is because Greg has made me that way.

THe first strike was last year when I was desperately longing to know whether he liked me or not what with all his flirting and I devised a plan to get RIcky to ask him whether he liked me or not. The quote which came out of his mouth I have never, ever forgotten and whenever I am near her I always feel ugly becaues of it. "Yeah, Stephanie's Ok, but Oanh's hotter." ouch. I almost cried that day.

Then I remember in May when we were already practically together he talked to me about his girl problems with Misty and Oanh. He said, "Yeah, there are very few girls I have pursued.... everyone pursues me, like you. Most of the time it's like, if a person likes me after a while I'll go, 'yeah, ok.' But it's very rare that I'll actually go after someone." Wow! Way to boost an ego man! I"m just a 'um, yeah ok i guess' and Oanh is a 'whoa what a babe!' Whoooooohoo. THen later I asked him if he regretted not calling Oanh back after she hit on him right before she got herself a better boyfriend. He said he did. Keep in mind! This is when we were already holding hands and stuff and he said that he regretted not becoming Oanh's boyfriend instead of mine. Um, okay. Tell me that wouldn't hurt you to the core.

Whenever I said anything about her like her being a bitch to me at Interact he will always defend her and call her bitchiness "admirable." However when I do anything similar or speak my mind I'm "crazy." That just isn't fair.

Then whenever I talk about him flirting with me way back when, which there are so many obvious instances, he will say that he didn't like me way back then, no, no....somebody else was on his mind. Uh-huh.

Whenever she is around, whether it's an interact trip, talking to her in the hall, or whatever, it always feels really awkward and he will refuse to touch me. He also migrates towards her, I noticed in the hospital trip and tends to put me into 2nd place. I just feel so bad about this and do my best to blend further into the background. It feels really terrible.

He even asked to share lockers with her! Now her locker is his.

He also always brings up things like "oh i always used to go for donuts with her here" or whatever. I don't want to hear it! I don't care! Do you see me telling you about all the places I went with Steven or Brandon? Brandon always used to talk with me about music! He had the exact same tastes as me and we could talk for hours! You never do that! Steven took me to the park, which I loved! You never take me to the park when I ask! I love that park! Brandon walked home from school with me every single day! Steven took me to chinatown and we played with firecrackers and looked at swords and had fun! I got along with all of Steven's friends and none of yours! There how does that feel??? Not too good! Shit!

It really just isn't fair because I work so hard and try to be so good and it all comes to nothing. I try my best to be nice, I censor my wardrobe before I go to school, I do his homework and I take care of him when he's sick. I draw him whatever he wants, full 8 page comics and whatever. I write him poems when I miss SNL. I overall try to be great and what does it get me? I don't know what I should do.

I am afraid to tell him this because he has a tendency to break up with me over every little thing. I am so afraid all the time of ever talking to him about anything because I'm afraid he'll get mad and break up with me.

I was starting to get over things and then he did the C- comment. Ouchhh.

I really like him too much. I don't want to lose him because he's all I got here with you all the way over there and he really is sweet when he isn't like this. He is my best san jose friend. He isn't like this so often but when he is it hurts so bad. I want to talk to him about it but I'm scared. What should I do??

Help me please, I am an F.