so I graduated.
Ok that was pretty neat. At first I was kind of "eh" about it. I wore combat boots like I promised myself I would freshman year after seeing Ghost World. I was hella hella late because I took a nappy nap. And I couldn't figure out how to wear that fucking stupid hat, which fell off my head like 8 times. But it was ok.

I ran and I was really hot and sweaty. Then we waited for a while and it started and we went in and there was all this massive "OH M GOD OH MY GOD ITS TIME" type deal siht and everyone was clapping and freaking out. When I walked in, it was pretty fucking amazing. It was intense. Overwhelming I guess is a good adjective. There was like 8 thousand people (approx....maybe 6-8) all up on their feet going insane, clapping for us and scremaing. I was all stoic "this shit is gay" but when I saw that I couldn't help but break into this huge smile and look up at the jumbotron. I shed exactly four tears of mourning in seeing everyone's family members go nuts and knowing that there was no-one out there for me except mr. Gaye. Then i got over it and was happy.

What changed my opinion of everything was my letter to myself I wrote frosh year, that OW gave me. It went like this:

Hello Stephanie,
Well, congratulations. you never thought you'd make it to this day. But then again, you were a pretty angsty, messed-up kid when you were a freshman. (only to grow up to be a messed-upo adult! Yay! Look at all you've accomplished!"
I hope you survived not having to go through the 5-year plan, and you're off to a lovely college and all that. If not, Academy of Art is where Jhonen scuttled off to, anyway. Are you still obsessed with art? Has it emotionally scarred you? Or are you more into it than ever? At this time, I draw like an asylum escapee, chugging cans of Mountain Drew at 4 in the morning. Sure, it's unhealthy! Sure it's stunting my growth! But that's for YOU to be angry about, and I can do my job as an ignorant jackass (Don't you wish you could go back in time and slab some sense into me? Heh, heh, I ruined your life.)
That's a nice diploma you got there. you're welcome.
Lenore #8. System of a Down. Gosmack. Blink 182. Kittie. Terrorist Attacks. You probably haven't thought about this shit in years (or yesterday. whatever.)
Well, however you are now, and whoever you are--you're a better, smarter, more uh...mature (snicker) person than you were now. That's bad grammar, isn't it? you've come a long way since 4 years ago, and for better or for worse, I'm proud of ya. At least the high school diploma will get ya a job as a social worker, eh?
I'm just kidding. GOOD JOB. I MEAN IT. :) From me to you, good luck on your future, best wishes...

always,
Stephanie.

So then I realized...who the fuck cares if nobody else in the world gives a crap about me graduating? The one person who matters most in the world is proud of you and thinks you're the shit. Me! Me as a freshman, me now... I dunno, it's kind of freaky. Like my former self was fucking smart. Either I haven't really changed or I was realy good at predecting the future. Ohh wow! I wish I could go back and thank myself, because that letter was really sweet! It made me feel really warm inside.

Everyone was crying but I couldn't cry, I was too happy that I'd never have to see anybody ever again. HA-HA. Anyway, Mr. Gaye picked me up, and took me to Sonoma Chicken Coop where I had a chocolate berry parfait (MMMMMMMMMMM OH GOD MM) then he bought me a bouquet of roses and gave me a gift certificate for 50 bucks at Bed bath and Beyond. So nice!!!!!!!!!! He's awesome! So now I'm home and I'm happy. It was fulfilling. It was better than I'd ever hoped it to be.