Can�t hardly believe it! Kathy�s with Hey Sexy!

Yeh.. I suggested for him to go to the movies with us last Thursday (so I could put the mooooves on him, hah) and I was pretty shocked when he said he would. We saw Spiderman (good but at times lame�Green goblin is pathetic. Mostly special effects are the appeal.)

He seemed awkward and kind of withdrawn. We were panicking. Kathy and me were saying, �come on! We have to do something wild, and sexy, and adventurous!� We were afraid he was getting bored. Have you noticed how Incubus always says WE instead of we? But he wasn�t bored. It was quite the opposite. I guess it was because he was so anxious. Because he would need guts to ask Kathy halfway through the movie if she had a boyfriend and to notify her that making him hers would please him very much. Eccch.

At the Donut Shop the other day Kathy and I were talking. These stats make me sick.

KATHY�S GUYS (official)*

-Brian (social butterfly)

-red haired guy in 5th grade

-Justin (hot)

-Moses (hot)

-someone else. My memory fails me. Some chinese guy I think. Who? Chris?

Unofficial

-Michael

-kissed by Tony Lazzeri in 7th grade

MY GUYS (official)*

-none

Unofficial

-Steve (out of utter desperation and despair and in total lapse of judgement)

*to be official, they have to actually ask you to get with them or acknowledge that you two are together.

SEE???? SEE???? THE DEPRESSION!

Plus she got two hot guys and one guy with a prominent social status. Oooo. Jealous of Kathy.

Actually I don�t want a guy with a social status. Too egotistical and you�d have to hang around ditzy, mindless zombie freaks. With lipgloss.

But Kathy is depressed that David and Trey are bugging Justin, saying things like, �You�re so stupid! What are you doing getting with her? Are you crazy?� It disturbs her. I become impatient when she gets upset about that. Is it not enough to be sexy and attractive with a hot boyfriend? Why must she complain about minor stuff like that further? I get that type of shit all the time. I wonder if she�s actually trying to depress me.

Coach says I will most likely make the tennis team. He is only accepting 10 girls for Varsity and 12 for JV. Yesssss!

Green real estate sign on lawn. Flyers advertising our house as a �Gorgeous Shapell Home� being made. Absolutely depressing. Don�t want to let it be someone else�s Gorgeous Shapell Home. Don�t want to move into tiny, miserable, fucking apartment.

I cannot decide whether I want to stay in Piedmont or Indy.

Piedmont Pros

-know everyone

-have upperclassman friends

-familiar with everything

-like banal conformity and regularity

-can attend events like Comedy Sportz easily

-get to ogle at ppl like Joel

-get locker

-get nice PE clothes

-not that many gangsta scary people

-am joining tennis team�

-can always go to Indy if I feel like it

-know area well

-practically no worthwhile activities/clubs

Piedmont Cons

-know everyone

-too many Viet bitches

-everyone hates me

-will not have any good friends there (no good girlfriends!!)

-not enough punk/goth/rock-liking people so I�m like some freak

-majority of teachers suck, lick, and bite

-crowded

-far, far away from apts.

-scrubbed over happiness and stereotypical assholes extremely unnerving

Independence Pros

-Emily is there

-teachers are best in district

-roomy

-lots more punk/goth/rock-liking people

-lots more cool people

-they even hold little rock concerts!

-closer� to the downtown apartments

-don�t know anyone (fresh start)

-lots more ogle-worthy people

-KBS (not really a pro but wtf)

-many more activities/clubs

Independence Cons

-lots, lots more lousy people

-away from Piedmont friends (well, they�re not particularly thiscloseor even this close friends, but stiiiiill..)

-lots more gansta scary people

-stabbings on regular basis

-huge (weeell�. Not really a con)

-don�t get locker

-super-ugly PE clothes

-barbed wire around school is occasionally unnerving

-will have to play against friends and on same team as jean w/tennis

- everyone might hate me

-Em�s friends might hate me, and then what?

-will not be able to return to Piedmont if I don�t like it.

-don�t know area well

-don�t know quality of teachers, art department, who to want, what to pick, who gives the most homework, etc.

-because of location hard to participate in activities, clubs

Decisions! Decisions!

Actually a lot of gothic people really suck. I don�t really like a lot of gothic people. They�ve got such attitude problems. All moody shit goths should go in for counseling. Especially that girl in school who shaves half her head off (and dies her hair black how pathetic) and then says I�m a fashion failure for wearing paper clip earrings.

Ooooooooh�� in math, everyone hated me. Someone hit me in the head with a paper airplane, people who wear much-cleavage-displaying shirts and lipgloss were saying that I�ME�.ME! Was a slut with a pornshop, and a bitch, and CoopY! Ohhh, Coopy has an attitude. He called me a wanna-be goth and keeps calling me a bitch. Now �slut� I don�t mind and bitch is..ehh�. but wanna-be goth? Yesterday he started up with me again so I slapped him fucking hard across the face.

Today everyone was really nice to me in math.