I think I have obsessive compulsive disorder. Or some sort of anxiety disorder. I was reading about it and it sounds like me.

I'm always worrying about shit, ridiculous crap so much so that i can't sleep! Take last night for example, I tried to sleep but couldn't. So I thought, okay, I'm going to fantasize a bit. I'm having this lovely fantasy thing where Joel takes me out at night in this secluded place and we lie back and watch the stars. I'm thinking, "hee hee how lovely" when all of a sudden he whips out a knife, stabs me and shoves me in the bushes. It's secluded, remember, so no-one will find me. This is the kind of bullshit reasoning I have. Jesus christ.

I hooope that KAthy got my last couple letters. I get the sinking feeling that I forgot to put the North in front of her street address. she hasn't contacted me in ages so i'm totally depressed!!! What to do!!! Has she died?? but then I saw her updated diary, so I'm thinking, "golly she must not be dead yet" but at the same time...yeesh.