I dunno what to write. School sucks ass. I am superbly stupid, and so very lazy.

Kathy's not around and I can tell she's really miserable wherever she is. She should just move back already. Between her friendless school, her control freak mother and her asshole uncle, what's a kid supposed to do? She doesn't even get her own room. Just thinking about her makes me feel a lot lesss bad about my own situation.

I have one new friend. She's bright red. She's my new CD player. She's the only person that I listen to at lunch. My life is totally boring, and I really suck at tennis. I really don't know.

I think I was becoming Phineas for a little while, because I was lapsing into my best friend. I went to school a couple days, the ideal picture of her. But now I'm beginning to just not care at all. I dressed really sharply the first couple weeks of school, but the last couple of weeks I really have not been giving a shit. I wear whatever's clean. I'm lapsing into a freshman mentality. Which also means kind of going goth. For a while there, I was beggining to think goths were immature, stupid people who really need to get lives. And a lot of them are, really. But lately I've been so miserable I just can't see myself going out in a fucking tie. Not only that, but everyone in school is starting to dress like me. What do I do when I hear people saying, "God Stephanie I love that outfit you always have such nice clothes" especially from some pseudo-bohemian idiot with lipgloss? I officially cannot dress anymore how I've BEEN dressing for a year, because now it's gotten fashionable. I think I'm going to go to school Thursday with a mohawk. I think my hair's short enough.

I'd forgotten how long summer lasts. I'm kind of pissed off about it. I'm sick of summer already. I'd like to see some fucking fall. But all we're getting is 90 degree weather in the middle of September.

I was going to write a lot more, but I really don't feel like it. Besides, I feel like as if everything that needed to be said has already, in my little black notebook. Though recently I haven't been writing in it as much. I've been giving a lot less of a shit about everything. I think I've already missed a couple days of Kathy-letters. I'd much rather talk to her but calling her on the phone is risky. Her mom might pick up, and who knows what would happen then.

YOu know her mom took kathy so far away. Can't she see what a fucking lousy mother she is? She's cooped up 3 people to a room with no space and no home and no privacy, and mean people around her, and it's not like she has sanctuary at school. She must be utterly depressed. Her mom should be GLAD when a FRIEND calls her. But instead she's a total psycho bitch. I wish I could kill her.