Hah! Today, Lisa was saying, "I don't hear anyone talking smack about you behind your back anymore," and "Even Erika Denney is being nice to you." Pleased, I was. For a minute. Then Samantha proceeded to tell me that she had heard Dang saying that half the tennis team hated me, because I'm annoying... and she knows that it's true. So do I, I always have, it just sucks having it said to you.

And Boom! There went my fucking fabulous "confidence" I was bragging about a couple entries earlier. COnfidence shmonfidence. What was I, some egotistical delusional fuck? I mean, since the 7th grade, I've heard it, "Stephanie's annoying." I'd read shit that I used to write before and I'd understand immediately what they meant. But I thought I'd changed! I thought I was better now! I'd thought I was mature! Maybe I haven't improved at all...and I still have that stupid little kid mentality that'll get me nowhere. I just want someone to tell me: what's wrong with me? What makes me so annoying? Is it because I'm hyper sometimes and I start conversations with bpeople I don't really know, or I'm over-friendly or over-moody, or what? Just...tell me!

Now every action I will have will make me confused. Everything I do from now on I will have to think about. "Waitamminit... am I being annoying?" And there goes my "charm" and "i like me" fucking attitude.

Now I'm back to square one again. More of an insecure loser than I've been in months, and no Kathy to help me deal with it. God, I'm such a goddamn stupid idiot!