And I'm glad that you got mine! You got all the punk rock things yes? Sweet. HAHA! I said sweet. that's funny. NOt really.

In your letter you beg and beg me to write but I don't know how/can't so.... here! Here I write you.....

I didn't know your favorite band was the Sex Pistols. I didn't even know you listened to them. Jesus. Maybe I'm ignorant.

Gary sounds really sweet. I bet it's the bangs! I bet he loves your bangs!

The Esplanade? Man, would it be creepy if you lived in the Esplanade. Then we'd live in, like, the same place, but... not.

Heeheehee! And you called Gary Phillip! i'm sorry. I'm giddy right now. I got your letter!!!

I got my record player from Fry's. it was a bit under a hundred dollers.I am sorry and I hope your apartment is not as bad as it sounds. My apartment was really really bad when I first moved in, but once we got settled I liked it. i'm sorry you have to share a room though. If you come back here, then you will have your own room because the fat foo will be gone, correct?

my Dad wants to buy a house or a condo but I don't want to move because we juts got settled here and I am actually growing to like this place. And i'll always miss my piano.

i wanted to cry when i read your letters because you were/are sad and I always want to cry with you when you are sad! I remember in the 7th grade Mr.Scott said something like "thank god we finally have a real piano player" when catherine tsai came up and i burst into tears for about an hour straight and you were almost crying because I was crying it feels like that. Actually I am almost crying thinking of that. Naybe it's because I care or maybe it's because I'm stupid fucking crybaby who goes being a fucking sentimentalist all the time for no reason. Like I almost cry when I see pictures of my house, and I know how you feel because I know going back to my house will make me really cry. Cry really long and hard.And I don't want to at all because I should be over it, but I do and I have to go to Cataldi to practice for this gay japanese dance tha tI will be performing in front of the whole school 3 times, for the international fair, and you won't be there to watch me in my debut, because I bet you never thought that I'd do it, but god, I am. But I don't want to go to Cataldi, because I don't want to cry. Because I know I can never have it back and even if I did, it's changed so it's not even mine anymore. The entire park is ripped up and all I have from the house is a 3 inch square of our old brown carpet and I didn't take more because I didn't think I'd miss it, but now I wish I had. For a long time i'd wanted to get rid of that carpet. I asked myself, who has a brown orange carpet? Nobody has a brown orange carpet. but that's the point, it was unique, and it was nice, and it was mine. And I wish we had never ripped up that carpet and put in a synthetic bright white one that makes my eyes hurt and my feet, too, because it's hard. And I wish we'd never painted the walls that had pencil marks I'd put on it when I was a kid. And I bet you have a lot of regrets too. And that's why i don't want to move, because not only do I have to go through that again, I would have to move back to that area right there next to the school. And even though i love that area, and I love to walk around it, and I can't imagine not going to school there I don't know if I could live there because I love it so much it hurts to see it because it reminds me of what used to be. And is this what you're feeling? Is this what you were feeling? And I don't mind it and I feel less safe in this room. I have to go to sleep with my light on in this room, in this apartment. I'm scared of the dark again. In my old room I was fine. I would just look out my window at the hills and the stars, and everything was all right. But the brick wall I see now doesn't do a thing for me and even though this is a brand new house, it doesn't even have a history or hauntings or is on top of an Apache graveyard, I am scared. But I think it feels better living here than it would if I went back. Yet I know that if I did move back the same thing would happen over again. I'd adjust. I always do. You didn't have time. You were only here for 2 weeks. But I bet you would have adjusted back to it real fast and it would have felt good. That's what happened here. I came here and I thought I was going to die. I thought that every time I walked through the door of this apartment which was not mine and did not have a brown carpet and was smaller, I thought every time I walked up these steep stairs that a part of me would die. And I'm not dead yet. And I hate walking up these stupid steep stairs and I hate sticking a card in front of the door to open it but I don't mind living here, and stepping inside doesn't give that feeling of depression but just relief like it did when I stepped inside my house, because this is where I live and relief is the feeling you get when you step inside home. But if I moved back to the area then that would be home, and it might take another year to realize it and adjust to it but it would probably start to be home again, really, and it would probably be more like home again than this ever was, and I'm sure the pain of seeing my house every day would go away eventually,

and I think living in the Beryessa area would feel nice after a while. But I don't think I'm ready for that yet. Maybe in another year or something, but not yet. It's not even been a year yet. But it always feels like home whenever you're around! Because when we walk down the street or skate down, or me on my skateboard and you on your scooter, and we go down the hill to Juan's house or go to up the overpass to Emilie's it always felt like home. it always felt so good. It will again when you come back. I don't know what I"m talking about. Anyway, when you come back you'll be near Campbell, and do you know how close you'll be to the Gaslighter? Oh ,my god, we can go for shows there every week! I am so mad because I had to study for finals For Ever, while the All American Rejects (Swing Swing)and Homegrown (that song You're Not Alone), two of the coolest bands, were playing at my favorite club! I nearly died I tell you. I was SOOOO MAD! And AAR were on Live 105 too, getting interviewed and saying how the show would be small and nice, and they weren't too big but just you wait, and how perfect would it be to see them now, when they're not? But OH GOD! I was mad. The Donnas and OK Go will be playing at the Fillmore Feb 26th. Feb 29th will be Comedy Sportz.

You have to go read my laterst entry in diaryland. Second to latest. Just read the one with the word Rachel in it. my cousin wrote me an email. I won't spare you the details now. Just look. Oh my. It gets pretty ugly.

You actually came during the worst 2 weeks of weather all winter. Right before you came, the weather was great and right after you left, it warmed straight up and it's been in the 70's since.

You know those porno ads in the back of the Metro and the Wave where there's pictures of hookers you can call up to suck your cock? I wonder what the people they went to high school with think when they look into that section. Maybe their worst enemy that grew up to be a lawyer looks at that picture and laughs and laughs and laughs. And I almost laugh too, thinking about it because will I be able to laugh when I see the Mexican girls that tried to beat me up in there? But at the same time I feel sorry for them because it's adding insult to injury, because when they go home that night, it won't be happily because they know that they're less than nothing. Maybe that's why people like them, hookers, the girls at school, have such big attitudes. They sleep with this guy because just the thing to do, they wear too much makeup and they live in a shithole, and they know they're nothing but they try to have a big attitude to cover it all up or to try to make themselves something. But it doesn't work. And it's pathetic. And it's really, really sad.

I couldn't believe your Mindy plan. It was so perfect. It's too bad you couldn't do it. We'll set up a time. A place. you'll be able to execute your push her to the side move.

I've started using my camcorder again, so when you get back we can make all those movies that we planned on doing, like the dance ones!!!

I did read the Dilbert comic already before you sent it, and I did really think it was funny and I was grateful for the reminder of it when you send it. Do you want it back? Because it said to send it back when I saw it. I will, when I figure out how.

Man, Gary sounds really really nice. DONG. LONG DUK DONG. Heehehehehe. Still. I keep thinking his name is Grady ;p sorry. Gary. Gary. Ok I learned it. OOOH! He sounds like oodles of fun. I hope you're keeping in touch. Yeah, you should write Jared asking for his number or something, now that you know that he really likes you, don't be shy!

I am pretty sure that this is Jared's address, but you'd better call just in case, and I'll give you a backup address.

2012 Westmont Dr.

Alhambra, CA 91803

626-576-2406

Or

2305 Roark Dr.

Alhambra, CA 91803

626-281-7769

Or MAYBE it's

525 N Curtis Ave

Alhambra, CA 91801

626-281-9995

It could very well be the last one... see? 91801. But on the other hand, the guy's name is Hartoyo Herman and that sounds Mexican or Flip or something. But Jared could be half Mexican sure right?

Mon sounds very sad. Chia got beat up a lot too at school. THey really hurt him pretty bad, but I think he kind of deserved it for talking about David after he died.

Math: Borderline C. 70% FInal is 10% of your grade. I think I did okay-bad in it.

Science: F. I failed.

English: A. Teacher's pet.

French: I have no idea. It's either a B+ or an A. Praying for A.

History: If I don't get an A, I will personally strangle the bitch. I do everything perfect in that class, from tests to notebooks.

PE: A... how could you not get an a in PE....

I hope you're doing better than me. Wouldn't that be something if I got AAAABF? Ugh. But I'll probably wind up getting a C in Math.

i don't really eat lunches anymore. I'm trying to lose weight but then I don't think I'm doing so good. The whitening cream is actually working I think but all this sunblock is not very good for the pimples and I keep forgetting to use the anti shine anti oil dust.

Thanks for the comics.... they're really funny! I decorated my locker and there's a picture of you in there (of course!) Also Dave Grohl, a devil head (but not evil devil... i mean.. it's like a 1950's toy metal devil that..oh you have to see it. It's not evil at all or cliche.. really....it really is not bad... I know devil sounds bad...oh.

A picture of Damian from OkGo that I took, a picture of the nice blue haired thrift shop guy, a picture of a fat indian girl, a postcard that says "Legalize the 4 Day Weekend" with a bunch of punks protesting, and the Sex Pistols postcard you gave me. Now I spend too much time staring at my locker door. I'm a fucking retard.

Holy shit, is this email ever big?! I'm gonna stop now! I've been writing all day... HOORAY, FINALS ARE OVER FOR ME! Except for my History final tomorrow, which I am so unconcerned about, I'm not even studying for it.