I feel kind of guilty. This really sweet guy took me home and I don�t even really remember what his name is. Irvin is it? I think? Anyway, we got lost because I wasn�t paying attention but we found the way soon enough. We made small talk about driving, college, abbott� I dunno whether he has a crush on me or he�s just this really genuinely nice guy. Whatever it was, it was fun. And I got to get a ride home. It was really cute, because he was blaring SOAD�s new album, so I smiled and grabbed my bag, and opened my CD player, Voila! Showing him the album in it. Thought that was kinda cool.

Anyway less than a day before Greg starts speaking to me again. He�s supposed to start again on Friday. Don�t know what the hell is going on. Whatever. Going to comedy sportz with Lisa.

What else happened? Oh yeah. Check out this convo btwn .. daamn!!!!!! I accidentally deleted it! But anyway, Brandon and me talked until really late lsat night� about problems with betraying friends, about all his ex girlfriends and loves, his current lovelife�and we danced around the subject of him and me. We mentioned just about every girl he liked until finally he said, �Hey.. I almost asked you to dance, that one dance� But he didn�t. And that makes all the difference. Still it was awkward, we talked about sex a lot, he told me all guys care about sex and that�s that, and I thought maybe there were some out there who wouldn�t be like that.

We talked about Emilie, who he�s not over, and Cindy, who he�s not over. God, how can he not be?

And he also wanted to start writing for my zine. I gave him a copy of the new articles for the next Commotion and he wrote something like �Very insightful, I could never write like this,� or something. Compliments are good I suppose.

Marcus also volunteered to make me a Commotion website. It�s coming along pretty nicely.

It�s so great to see my dreams unfolding right in front of my eyes. But it�s going to get better! Even better than before, spectcular, and marvelous.

I don�t know what to do though. My audience is really just people from Piedmont, and so they love all the �inside joke� kind of things� like the interview with Skippy and the Sex Guy thing, and Comedy Sportz, because that�s their school. It�s like the school newspaper on massive amounts of coke.

But I kind of want a better quality zine, like something that would go beyond the boundaries of Piedmont. Something that�s really great� a piece of work. The old zine is just great, it�s just�..not perfect. So I�m writing a lot of more important articles, like about music and more of the �boycott teen magazines� type thing. It�s been 2 weeks since the Commotion came out and people are still reading it in the halls. You don�t know how that makes me feel, you can�t even begin to describe it. To hear the words that you wrote being uttered by somebody else, and for somebody to laugh at that, it�s just so amazing� it renders me speechless. And it�s all mine.

I�m just afraid though. If I change my zine to a more mature music-oriented thing, will people still be interested in it or will they be turned off, and just want more interviews with retards and all that good fun? Do they even read the whole zine? Or do they just look at the chick? I�m so insecure, despite all the comments.

Anyway, I�m gonna go write another article and format a couple of others. Bye!