Log of food: Sunday:

half a box of take out chow fun

Juice

6 Mushroom hors d'ouvres

Yesterday:

3 chips

5 won-tons

Milk and Juice

Today:

Pepsi

Cheese Sandwich

Granola Bar

Every time I stand up I get a head rush and feel faint

But I will not sacrifice my pride for some food. That's what I wanted to do. Lose weight. Right?

I dunno. I'm just awful tired.

He keeps saying, "Nothing's going to change" but it's too late: it already has.

Today I thought about playing a practical joke on Greg (april first) and even prepper big time for it, but then decided against it. If my ear doesn't stop itching soon, I'm going to lop it off. Later, during play practice, we (allison and i) showed up to watch him and I remembered that I had left had two hats from Ms. Kennett's Cyrano project in my locker, my policeman's hat and my fedora. I also remembered I'd left my suit-coat in there from weeks ago. So I put on my fefora and coat, let Allison don my policeman's hat, and were in perfect attire to crash practice. It was great. I had a pin-striped shirt and pants on already to match and everything. We watched them get ready and conversed with Michael, and hissed up at Marcus, who was in charge of lighting and sound. Marcus fixed his hair! He's well on his way to maturing, at last. Who knows? If his six-pack strategy goes well, by senior year he may just be hot. It's just sooo sad...he's moving!!! I was absolutely shocked when I heard... he's moving really close to LA. I promised to spend the summer with him with kathy.

Greg went to the bathroom and left his hat on the table. It's a very, very blue hat. And he has a very, very blue suit. And so I stole his hat and I replaced it with mine. It was rather dark. I heard him clatter out and look around for it, and I stuck my head around the corner. I snuck up and laughed, and gave it to him. He said, "haha." His hair was in complete dissaray and I thought it was really hot.

OOOOH Nersi Nersi Nersi looks so lovely.

Yeah, also he really liked my policeman's hat and there is a detective in the play with one similair, but mine was a lot better so he wanted to use mine, but the guys' head was too fat and it wouldn't fit.

I think I'm pretty pathetic because I'm listening to a Lot of newsies and I shouldn't be listening to so much Newsies but Greg really likes Newsies and... Oh... it's really not that bad. I do actually like it, it's just that I feel guilty listening to it, and one of the reasons I am is Greg. yeah, Yeah, Okay, I admit it!! FUCK. Oh I feel reaaaally bad about being so upset about Greg not being online the past 2 weeks! I'm so stupid! I should have known: The two weeks before the play are "hellweeks!" And they get out at practically 9 sometimes! I feel so stupid.. I should have known! And I am not mad officially. Greg was "with" Carol Goodwin today, and will proceed to be with her on Tuesdays, but other than giving her a hug, he didn't bring it up or shove it in my face or anything, so I felt kind of ok about it. Well, shure I was jealous but only fora bit. Honest.

Oh Oh OH! It's April, which sucks because it's Avril and Avril Lavigne and all but OH it's lovely because so many brilliant things are happening!!!!! I'd see the play 6 times like Greg wants me to but first of all, it's too damn expensive and 2nd, for once I actually have THINGS to do!!! It's too bad Kathy couldn't come two days earlier, because she could both go to EMilie's sleepover and see the play! It would be so fabulous! But.. aaah, well. Things are as they are, I guess.I'll email her and get her to change things: possibly? and then there's the Foo Fighters concert...

OH NO! How will I manage the Foo Fighters concert with my Dad on the hate-line? Oh god! What will i do?!!!!!!!

Maybe... maybe I can get Brandon to take me... or something? Oh god oh no oh god!

....I'll figure something out.....