I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. Argh.

Ok so first I wanted to do that whole artist thing. Whoopeedoo. I went Hell Yeah! I'm gonna draw like mad! And I went totally gung ho over it. BUt it wound up being really stupid in retrospect. And eventually the idea kind of phased out of my head, like this isn't a realistic goal for me. It's too risky. I don't want to do this.

Then I went I'm gonna be a journalist. And I went Hell Yeah! I'm gonna put out zines like The Commotion like mad! And I went totally gung ho over it. But it wound up being really stupid in retrospect. And then the idea kind of phased out of my head, like this isn't a realistic goal for me. I don't know if I can do this all my life. I don't think I'm a good enough writer.

And now I"m all over the designer fashion thing. And also other designs. You know, that one school in New York. And I'm going Hell Yeah! I'm going to make a book full of fashion sketches and start making my own clothes. And I'm totally going gung ho over it. But I guess it will look really stupid in retrospect. Because the idea will phase out of my head in fear like it always does and I'll go this isn't a realistic goal for me. I'll never make it.

And I"ll never pursue anything I really want to do in life. I don't know what I"m going to do with my indecisive stupid self.

It sure is fun for now though. It's fun to get really gung ho into something. I only wish I could get really gung ho into studying for my SATS or whatnot.