You might think from all these sad entries that my life is really in a fucked up stage right now with all kinds of bad things happening to me, but you'd be wrong. There isn't anything bad happening to me. Actually, it's relatively peaceful. Pretty good. Uneventful. So why aren't I happy? I cry every night. Why aren't I happy?

I wish I could put everything into the right words, so you could understand.

....I have a horrible feeling that I'm going to be like this forever.

oh god no.